You know, growing up, I never really understood you. I mean, I knew who you were to me and your role, but I didn’t understand you, you know? I didn’t know about all of the pain and suffering that you carried inside. I only ever saw the smiles and laughter that we had brought you, the dreams and achievements we had earned through your constant and unwavering love for us. It wasn’t until much later into my own life, having suffered myself, did I really understand you. The faces we put on for the people we love. The “pushing down of pain” we do to be strong. I see more than just the mother you are to me; I see the individual that you are. I see that the sacrifices you made for us were to ensure we didn’t end up like you; that the wager for our future was hard fought and earned bitterly by the shortcomings of your own parents. Parenthood is about transcending your own ego and your own desires in order to give your children all of the status and potential that you never had. It is very much a sacrifice. But you never wavered, you never complained. I find myself at a loss as to how I can best repay your love for me. It is my sincere hope that I am even half the parent you were and still are to me, should God smile upon me so. I know that this next step in our lives is one into the unknown. I know it will be hard to not have me around. Know that I carry you and your love in my heart wherever I go and that God has wonderful things in store for you and Dad. I hope that the next time I see you, I have little monkeys of my own, and we can share in that wonderful miracle together, not just as mother and son, but as fellow parents. I love you, Mom.



you traded
your freedom
and your voice
for safety.

was it worth it?

are you any happier now?

i really don’t think you’re going to like the ending.


Light Dark Revolution

most dogs are weak.
they cower in the face of danger.
fewer will sell themselves out
and others;
as long as they keep their heads down,
they are fed
and kept warm.
but there are a few
that remember that once
they were wolves
and they remember what happens
to those who do not keep
tooth and claw
with a gleaming edge.
they have not forgotten
that the tree of liberty
is kept nourished
by the blood of tyrants
and by the blood of those
who would defend her.

keep your fangs sharpened, wolves.
your time draws near.



maybe there are people
that are just too broken,
too hurt,
too full of anger
and disappointment
to love again.
i wonder what will happen
to those people.
i wonder
what will



i am no stranger
to fighting alone.
is something i have been
for a long,
long time.
i suppose that is why
i jump in
when i see another person
fighting alone
because i, too,
have been left behind
more times than i can count
and if i can spare someone that pain,
even for just a moment,
i will.



i understand.
i had to lose them all
and learn to love the trees,
the mountains,
the sea,
the flowers,
the stars.
i had to learn to love the wild
so i could love the wild
in you.


You, and Stars

You know what sounds good?
A bottle of cheap wine
on a hill overlooking a city
with you
in our own little corner of the world
looking up at the stars
and getting drunk
off each other’s laughs.
A man can dream for the smaller things,


The Crow

Allow me,
little flower,
to carry your pain
even if it is only
for a little while.
You cannot bloom
with so heavy a heart
and mind.
Allow me to shoulder it,
little flower.
Empty your eyes,
so full of sadness
and bitterness,
upon me
so that for once,
even if for a moment,
you are not carrying your world


Heated Clash

Our ability to draw meaning
from inherently random events
is one part foolish
and another part
biological tool
to cope.
Though our bodies may be destroyed
so long as we believe it is for a purpose
do we toil and suffer


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