As We’ll Ever Be

a part of me dreads
another text from you.
how would i respond?
in anger?
in bitterness?
i think of all the ways
i could snap at you
and it breaks my heart
to hope it hurts you.

but,
another part of me
yearns for it.
to feel seen again.
that i crossed your mind
and your heart
enough to have you talk to me
again.
all of the gates i closed
in my heart
could fly open
and let of the love i had for you,
that i still have,
flow freely once again.

i feel foolish for even wasting time
thinking of what i would do.
im sure you dont.
but what helps me sleep at night
is knowing that i would be so
unbelievably
happy
just to know that you do.

~lt