You see, after you left, I made some changes to the place.
It’s no longer about you.
Before I knew the truth about you, I adorned a place very much like this with literary diamonds that radiated my love for you. I wanted to create a place that would live on after I had passed, so that anyone who read it could feel the love I had for you.
That place is gone now.
It was destroyed the moment I discovered the truth about you.
I wanted to believe in you, you know? That you would triumph over your pain-soaked past and better yourself. That you wouldn’t become like those who had hurt you.
But I was wrong.
So incredibly wrong.
What you had learned in your pain was how to be manipulative and deceitful. You never had any intention of bettering yourself because that would mean putting end to your constant cycle of victimhood. You craved attention so badly that you told told others lies about me in order to garner some perverted form of sympathy.
But it didn’t stop there, did it?
You know exactly how to reel me back in after keeping me out in the cold for weeks at a time. You knew the kind of heart I possessed was valuable because you could not find it in yourself to grow and nurture it like I did. You knew that I was more than willing to come back to you, time after time, and give you the attention you needed.
It’s actually quite pathetic, now that I think about it.
Your desire to be validated by anything and everyone has consumed you. You no longer care about the feelings of anyone because you do not possess the ability to feel anymore. My only regret is that I ignored everyone that told me to cut you out because I believed in you, do you get that? I believed in you when no one else did, but that didn’t matter to you. Honestly, I’m starting to believe it never did.
But anyway, about this place.
You cannot find it.
I designed it that way.
You are bound by your own chains of victimhood and self-loathing to ever grasp just how incredible this place is and how wonderful the people who come here are.
Because, while they may struggle with pain, they are trying to overcome it. They are trying to define how they overcame their adversities, rather than be defined solely by how they were hurt, like you.
I hear you also have someone ‘special’ in your life, if that word even applies. Sadly, I know that he too is only an addition to your never-ending pity party. Hopefully he does not tire of your pitiful, worn out games. You will find I will no longer entertain such wastes of time.
So this is goodbye. I’ll still pray that you find your strength, though at this point, nothing short of trauma will awaken your tepid spirit. Karma will make short work of you, soon enough.