Splinter

My heart broke today

And it broke for a perfect stranger.

It was a typical night at work. We had just finished stocking the freight for that evening. Nothing more than a few pallets of cement and lifts of lumber.

The night went on and, during a bit of downtime, I noticed some associates standing near one of the ends of aisles. I walk over and join their conversation.

“Yeah man, she’s just crazy. I don’t get it,” one said to the other. “Especially her, you know? Just all she has going on,” said the other.

Seeing I had joined late, I asked about the girl in question. “It’s just this girl I’ve been talking to. I’m just looking for something fun, nothing serious at all, and then her mom gets all sick and she’s hitting me with this really heavy stuff. I don’t think I wanna get involved with that at all, you know?”

“Because if you pretended like you cared, then she would develop stronger feelings for you, thinking you legitimately care for her, and you just want something light, right?”

“Exactly, dude.”

It was then that my heart broke for this girl.

He sauntered off, oblivious to the power he now held in his hands. Grief and anguish swept over me, as well as anger. And this is the problem with many men in today’s age. Well, I’d hesitate to call them men when the term ‘boys’ is much more appropriate. Have we really become so afraid of commitment, of actually caring for one another, that we feign concern just so we can score some quick sex?

We want all of the benefits of being in a relationship that takes years to build without doing any of the work. And perhaps, worse still, we panic when anything ‘heavy’ starts to develop, namely actually giving a damn about another person besides ourselves. That’s really the source of the problem; we are not prepared for the sacrifices involved with real love. We stopped looking for a partner for life, and instead focus on finding someone for right now. We have become blinded by the false sense of thrill we derive from ‘spontaneity’ that we cannot see the inherent beauty in predictability. We would much rather spend a day with hundred people that won’t ever matter than spend a day with one who does. We jump in and out of relationships the moment we sense things getting ‘heavy’ because we have never had to work through hard times, to see the good in someone and sacrifice our all for them. It’s a sad time, indeed, to see sex so readily available, rather than loyalty.

We let go of some of the most wonderful, magical people in our lives for whatever other fish in the sea are out there. No one is sacred anymore. Not even ourselves.

We spend our whole life looking for love, only to run like cowards when we finally find it.

My heart broke today.

And it broke for a prefect stranger.

~LT