Seethe

Like many before I,
I tread the thicket of enlightenment.
Always seeking
never reaching,
the Light.
I poured myself into countless tales
of those who achieved the Light,
and though I have mastered the ways of the Earth,
the presence of mind still escapes of me.
An anomalous side-effect has presented itself to me
after many years of meditation and ruminating.
A stark, fiery, nearly uncontrollable
anger.
This rage would exhibit itself in seemingly random fashion
and I cannot state from whence it came.
I am puzzled
for is not the very purpose of meditation
to find peace?
Instead, I found myself incensed over trifles.
I do not find my being to be particularly wrathful,
though from time to time,
even I am capable of lacking
restraint.
And there comes to mind
no single moment
where I was wronged to such an extent
that would warrant this unbridled hatred.
Could it be I have carried this ire
from another phase?
That maybe, I had become brimmed with fury
in the previous cycle,
that even upon Purification,
it escaped unscathed?
Perhaps.
Another potentiality is that it reflects the stoic nature
of my soul.
I do not waste time dealing with matters of the self,
and thus,
these build and build until there is no other option
but cataclysmic meltdown.
Perhaps.
If it is true what they say,
that he who angers you
conquers you,
what does it say
when the one who angers you
is yourself?

~LT

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