“Cornfield Chase” Interstellar, Hans Zimmer

i will be your ghost.
a specter
of simpler times,
a jinn of the joyful memories
we shared.
i know you will not come back
to these grounds
if you do,
i hope you remember with tender fondness
our talks of a home with a red door,
of walking down the beaches of Mexico,
of seeing the Northern Lights,
of walks in the park,
of dancing in the dark,
of my hands wanting to run
through your hair,
of cooking at midnight,
of holding you close,
of driving to look at Christmas lights,
of studying the Bible together,
of listening to you sing church songs,
of ten minute breaks,
of love-me, love-me nots at the library,
of leftovers and IM’s,
of butterflies and hummingbirds,
of talking for hours on end,
of sunflower kitchen sets,
of raising him,
of teaching him video games
and how to fish and love the trees,
of blue apples,
of healing together,
and of you
and me.

this is my final message
to you.

i love you


Featured post

Into Blue

my heart whispers
like the groans of old ship,
mourns in the hush
of a wind-kissed field of wheat
and loves
in the gentle rush
of an outgoing tide.
i yearn to love
and to be loved
as free as i am meant
to be.


Great Gig

i’m not afraid of dying.
there really isn’t a reason at all
to be afraid of it.
and i know this sounds bad,
but sometimes,
i think i look forward to it.
when the aches in my bones
no longer ache
and the breaks in my heart
no longer break.
when the last of my body withers
to dust
maybe my spirit can finally feel
free to live among the trees,
the winds,
and the stars.



your raven hair
across my chest.
my lips
against your almond skin.
another time.



i am no stranger
to fighting alone.
is something i have been
for a long,
long time.
i suppose that is why
i jump in
when i see another person
fighting alone
because i, too,
have been left behind
more times than i can count
and if i can spare someone that pain,
even for just a moment,
i will.



i have tried
so hard
to harden my heart to you.
to lock it away
and bury it
deeper than i’ve ever buried it
but you have a way of softening it
and i think
that no matter how hard i try to hate you
that part of me
will always be softly in love
with you.


Timelines of Honey

there are nights
when i can scarcely remember
the way your voice
would call my name.
when i cannot recall
the way you would roll your eyes
when i would say something stupid,
which was often.
but then,
there are other nights
when i am there,
in your arms,
and the smell of your wild hair
would pull me deeper
into your honey-soaked eyes
and every cell in my body
remembers you.


Live Not By Lies

And he who is not sufficiently courageous even to defend his soul—don’t let him be proud of his “progressive” views, don’t let him boast that he is an academician or a people’s artist, a merited figure, or a general—let him say to himself: I am in the herd, and a coward. It’s all the same to me as long as I’m fed and warm.” –Alexander Solzhenitsyn, “Live Not By Lies”


suffice it to say
that i have never loved a coward
as much in love
as they were in life,
than I have loved


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